i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Where did you get a picture of my penis
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
