Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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