question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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