WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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