Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
