Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I want a musical about memes.
The adults are the big ones right?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize