If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize