One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
