I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
