I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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