dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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