You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
