Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize