No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
