Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
