Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
