you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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