I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
