I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
