Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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