they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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