my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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