so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
