I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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