508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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