Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She tied me up with her honor cords...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
