I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
