Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
