You can't motorboat a personality
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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