She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just want to make out with him forever
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
