gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
