she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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