you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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