There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
