too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
