I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
