**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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