pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
