How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's always time for handjobs
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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