Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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