From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
