Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
