Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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