I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
