Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
