Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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