In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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