Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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