I think I am morally bankrupt
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
