I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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