I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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