all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize