either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
