Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
