things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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