i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
