STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
