Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
