Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
